Spontaneous Subway Singing

Well… Last week, while on the 4 train en route back from the Yankee Game heading to casa de Heller/Millman, an interesting and provocative question was posed: What song will have the greatest chance of provoking the entire subway car to sing?

Is this some weird sociology experiment? Did I pay attention in that class in college enough to know if sociology was the area of applicable study to find the answer to my previous question? I did take sociology 101 freshmen year, so i was probably motivated to learn and didn't realize the social distractions all around me... However, i did have class with Garret Rivas "The Show" and Jake Long, so it couldn't have been tremendously hard.

Then i thought... What songs can I reference and recite at ease???

• Randy Newman - “I Love LA”


• Aladdin Soundtrack – “A Whole New World”


• Sublime – “What I Got”

All very good songs, but very niche… Then i thought... What factors would contribute to a successful spontaneous subway sing session (notice the consonance):

• Does Age play a roll in this (Yellow Submarine by the Beatles vs Get Low by Lil Jon)?



• Does geographic location matter (NY vs Boston vs LA)?

However, the answer dawned on us… The Number One song to spur spontaneous singing on a subway isssssssssssssssssss……………… Happy Birthday!

And thus, some random dude wearing a Mickey Mantle T-Shirt jersey was serenaded by an entire subway.

However, the question has altered… What is the 2nd most likely song that will be the catalysts for spontaneous singing on a subway car???

I think the front runner is: Coolio – “Gansta’s Paradise”...

However, what are your thoughts? Post your suggestions in the comments.

The New and Much Longer Commute

Well... sorry for the delay in the posts... Busy times with work and Lake Show. It is no excuse and i will follow up shortly with another post.

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Well... each and every day, people wake up and repeat the same steps until they go to bed. For me, that routine involves a moderately long commute that involves three forms of transportation: subway, train, and boss picking me up from the train station.

My day starts at 6:22 and is incredibly not efficient. After a quick shower, i engage in a daily struggle to dress myself. Its a battle to watch SportsCenter, guess the weather, and item by item cloth myself.

Then begins the commute... down the elevator and around the corner where someone ALWAYS has put out bird food. Every morning, the pigeons scatter and kamakaze dive bomb poop all around me. Into the subway and up to Grand Central where the stairs up to Grand Central have been incorporated into the Millman Get Fit regime. (Note: There have been recent sightings of me forgoing the subway and huffing it from 42nd to 30th)

Upon boarding the hour and 10 min train ride, that is when the fun begins... and by fun, i actually mean a super-sized portion of potential badness.

Here are couple things that you could expect on the train...

• At least one person playing punk music on their iPod at a way too early hour... (Editor's note: is there an appropriate hour for punk music?)


• Someone uncomfortably snoring next to you


• Coffee spills and no one owns up to it to warn you that it has trickled down and seaping into your briefcase


• Waking up at the last stop and no one is the train and everyone failed to wake you up...


• Perfect weather going into the tunnel to get to Grand Central, and a monsoon when you get out with no umbrella. Eureka! A guy selling umbrella's! within 3 seconds the umbrella is rendered useless and inside out.

With all this potential badness destined to ruin my commute, their is one silver lining: The Bar Car.

The Bar Car is the solve to the happy hour that everyone misses by working outside the city. It is sheer bliss but a small battle to drink enough to get buzzed but not too much where you have to break the seal on the train.

SO when you are driving home, or smushed between someone on the subway, just think that you pretty much know what you are getting... I am getting an hour and a half of potential badness with a small side of potential bliss.

In-Flight Entertainment

Well... Lets just say I had an interesting flight back to the NYC this weekend. I flew home to Los Angeles and spent the weekend sitting at the beach. It was a perfect weekend but the true story starts on the flight home.

With many of the long-haul flights, airlines have personal TVs with ample channel, movie and music choices.


I sat down in seat 30-D on Delta Flight 719 leaving LAX and arriving at JFK. As soon as the plane took off, i immediately launched in the in-flight Trivia. It was truly a duel with the person in 18-A. Came down to the last question. Who doesn't know that the wickets on a cricket pitch are 22 yards apart! Come on!




So after my display of brilliance, I settled in, relaxed the seat belt, gained the inside elbow position on the arm rest (crucial for a comfortable flight) and began looking through the movie options with my aisle side hand (needed to maintain my elbow position).


There were some solid choices including Benjamin Button, Doubt, Body of Lies, and Slum Dog but I picked "The Wrestler." I heard it was good and I heard it was Mikey Rourke's comeback (Editor's Note: Who is Mikey Rourke?).


WELLL... i was entertained a little more than expected!

About 45 minutes in, Randy the Ram (Mikey Rourke) visits a gentleman's establishment and his favorite stripper Marisa Tomei.

Below are the thoughts that entered my mind as the scene progressed.

• I bet Delta cut this scene out. Woah... Wait... This isn't censored at all.


• This is awkward... realllly awkward. (I immediately scan who is sitting around me) No kids around me. CRAP! One just ran by and Marisa Tomei was twirling like a draddle on the pole.


• Should I Fast Forward? No... this scene is very very very very crucial to the character development.


• What next? What next? Oh... Randy the Ram is getting a private dance.


• The grandma in 31-C is giving me a disgusting look. Is that a naughty look? Barf Bag! Where is it?


• Here comes a nun... GREAT! Hide! (I proceeded to put the hood of my sweatshirt over my head but continued to watch)

So...what is a guy suppose to do in that situation? I'm not mad at Delta for having a terrific selection of movies but there should have been a warning that said "STRIPPERS IN THE MOVIE!"

Regardless, for anyone that saw the movie, Marisa Tomei looked great and for those that didn't see the movie, the movie was great and Marisa Tomei was even better.

VOTE TOP RIGHT IN THE POLL FOR MOST AWKWARD MOVIE POSSIBLE TO WACTH WHILE ON AN AIRPLANE.

Joy to the Condiment

Well... Let's be honest, as we order food, the typical person doesnt place enough emphasis on the choice of supporting condiment. The condiment can make or break a meal.

The choice is essentially no different that choice we make every time you go out in the winter (not applicable in LA): is it cold enough for a jacket? If you bring a jacket, do i check it at the bar? Am i going to hold it all night? Do i really want a side of sweet and sour sauce? Is that jar of sweet and sour sauce cluttering the table too much thus reducing the opportunity of having a pitcher of beer or water and diminishing the any chance of proper hydration.

It's a big choice and many restaurants realized the growing importance to made condiments a profit center. No longer can you go to McDonalds or Burger King and get 3 BBQ sauces, 2 Honeys, 4 Ranches, and 1 Sweet & Sour packets. They'll charge you and won't think twice about it.

So this begs the question... what is the best condiment?

• Ranch- I think this is essentially the most versatile. It can go with anything and easily go with more if people expand their comfort zone. I've done ranch with breaded chicken & spaghetti and it was quiet good.



• Honey Mustard- A good honey mustard is one with a little spice. Best Honey Mustard to Date: Todaro Bro's & Maize 'n Blue Deli. The Honey Mustard kicks in towards the end of the bite and doesn't overwhelm the fundamental ingredients.



• BBQ Sauce- This has a more narrow application but i feel like it was a pioneer in the condiment expansion era so it deserves to be listed.

However, i think there needs to be proper attention towards those that support condiments.

• Young Greg Heller- While manning his desk at Mr Deutsche's Bank, he also is known for his condiment drawer which is fully stocked at all times.



• Mike Nicoll- Will put ketchup on everything... including and not limited to cheerios, oranges, & salad.



• Mitchell Daar- Has been known to put crushed red peppers (maybe considered a spice) on everything.



• Tyler Kupper- Not only orders three additional side of thousand island, but takes it the next step and manufactures his own during dire times.

Regardless, i think its about time that the condiment lobby steps up its efforts in making the condiment category a proper part of the food pyramid.

I'm sure this will spur more discussion, feel free to post in the comments section.

Lake Show, Baby! Lake Show

Well... It's Simple. I grew up on the West Coast. I live on the East Coast and there is a stupid time change that separates me from my sports teams.

I can handle not watching the Lakers dominate Sacto on a regular basis (Editor's Note: see below for reason why Sacto sucks) during the regular season but i would not be a loyal fan if didn't watch every minute of every game in the playoffs.


PLAYOFFS (CLICK HERE)



So what is the impact of the PLAYOFFS and this time change paradox, you ask?

• I will be wearring my Mamba MVP Tupac-esque t-shirt very frequently with minimal if any washes in between.



• There will be frequent "LAKE SHOW, BABY! LAKE SHOW" chants before, during and after each and every game (regardless of time and place).


• Depending on the Lakers Performance various drinks/shots and/or acts will have to be consumed/performed... I am a firm believer in rituals/habits/superstitions/voodoo:



• Prior to each and every game, one michelob light will have to be consumed.


• If Kobe does his big balls dance at any point (see picture from the movie Major League), I will have to replicate the dance immediately


• If DJ Mbenga (Click Link on Name) plays and scores i will have to do wall-sits for 5 minutes


• I will go to bed at 1 am and wake up extremely tired the next day, thus prompting the boss to root against the Lakers

Regardless, this is a big post-season for the Lakers. They lost last year to boston and now its their time to shine with Andrew Bynum back. Personally, This is also the time where home is brought to the East coast and I can enjoy the same excitement as anyone in SoCal.

Below:

Every other year, starting senior year of high school, a select few of die-hard Laker Fans would take a voyage up to Sacto for the Lakers v Kings game, stay in a Motel 6, bring cow bells and be rowdy to no end. During these trips, beers were thrown on Glush and landed on me, a cowboy threatened to kick our ass, and horses looked like cows. Here are a couple pictures for those trips:

The Results are in...

Well... Thank you for all of the support in my 2 mile endurance race against my boss. As many of you already know, i was not triumphant (See picture- This is about 1.5 miles into it). Overall, Friday ranks as one of my saddest days in my young life. To be precise, it is the 2nd saddest day after losing the 3rd grade spelling bee in the first round on the word "business."

Is the competition over? Have I lost? I need only to reflect on the wise words from Bluto (Jon Belushi) in Animal House to rally my spirits and go back and compete.

“OVER? Nothing is over until we decide it is, was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor??? It ain't over now, because when the going gets tough....................The tough get going!” ~ Bluto

I will not sit down and take this defeat like most will... I will not endure endless office ridicule! I will not go quietly into the Night! I willl not Vanish without a Fight! The inches I need to win are all around me!

Thus, I am proposing the Five Star Sports Gauntlet Competition which will span the summer with the following events:

• Horse Basketball Shooting



• Archery



• Connect-4 Competition (Sponsored by Jason Glushon)



• Dave & Busters Triad: Mini Golf + Batting Cages + Go-Karts



• Home Run Derby (on the Westport Little League Field)



• Bocchi Ball



• Fans Choose (Please vote on what the 7th event will be)- The winner was Chubby Bunny Competition

I believe the events outlined above represent a nice blend of different mind-games and athletic tests of strength and skill.

I will provide continuous updates throughout the summer.

Note: Inspirational quotes in red are from the Movie Independence Day (Side note: What has happened to Jeff Goldbloom???) and Any Given Sunday.

Race Results

RACE RECAP TO COME SHORTLY... CURRENTLY IN AN ICE BATH