If I had a Bar...

Warning… the first little bit tends to be a little thicker than the ending…

Well… Last weekend, it was a blitz of birthday parties. And with any birthday party, the birthday guy/girl/person/people generally does a comprehensive search for a location that has the best drink specials. Drink specials imply drinking; drinking implies drunk; drunk implies a greater chance of stupidity… for good and for bad.

At one of the bars I attended, I chose to swim up river, against the current and ordered a Red Bull instead of an alcoholic alternative. The bar tender first hesitated and asked “Red Bull and what?”… I respond with “Red Bull and Ice, please.” With a confused look the bar tender served me up a red bull + ice in a tiny little glass. A quick scan of the room made me realize that I was the only person with a tiny little glass. After the red bull + ice, I ordered another drink: water. Again, a tiny little class.

It was apparent that non-alcoholic drinks have different glasses than alcoholic ones. For a myriad of reasons this is baffling.

Is the small tiny cup equivalent to the Scarlet Letter? (Yes, I read that book... Yes, I was one male vs 14 females in the class. Yes, 100% of males in the class disliked the book) Does someone deserve to be singled out simply by not-drinking? Has the social norm shifted so violently, that someone who doesn’t drink is immediately out casted? This isn’t the first time where a bar has treated a non-drinker differently. I have seen bartenders in Vegas chastise and ridicule someone who ordered soda instead of alcohol… Who knows… That person may have a history of alcohol dependency in their family.

(In a Rodney King/LA riots voice voice) Can we just all drink from the same kind of cup???

DONE- That was my societal rant…

Well… At some point, everyone has either had the conversation of “If I were a teacher, I would be the coolest teacher ever” or “If I owned a bar, it would be the sickest (Editor’s Note: unsure if I have ever used “sickest” in this context) bar ever!”

The establishment would evoke my past and present in every detail. No, No… it wouldn’t have Raiders flags all over the place… just a discount for any patron that can name the three other runners that were on James Jett’s Gold Medal 4x100 Olympic relay team.

Here is some more info:

• Name: 16-Twenty (Throw back to the good ole fraternity house in college)
• Location: Lower East Side (NY), Inside the Loop (Chicago), Venice (LA)
• Menu- ALL APPETIZERS & FINGER FOODS
• Pigs in a Blanket w three different dipping sauces
• Sliders
• Chips + Guac
• Mini Crab Cakes
• Dumplings (Provided by Schulweis’ restaurant)
• Shark Bites
• Personal Sized Bundt Cakes
• Peanuts (you will 100% be allowed AND encouraged to throw the shells on the ground)
• Atmosphere- Any bar of mine would have outdoor space with water misters in the summer.
• Gimmicks
• Any one that recreates Tom Hanks in Forrest Gump giving Lt Dan ice cream will get 5% off.

• Every night at midnight, Hail to the Victors will play.
• Fox Sports West/PrimeTicket will have a dedicated TV showing SoCal sports.

That is my vision… Chill + relaxed + fun. AND NO BATHROOM ATTENDANT!