In-Flight Entertainment

Well... Lets just say I had an interesting flight back to the NYC this weekend. I flew home to Los Angeles and spent the weekend sitting at the beach. It was a perfect weekend but the true story starts on the flight home.

With many of the long-haul flights, airlines have personal TVs with ample channel, movie and music choices.


I sat down in seat 30-D on Delta Flight 719 leaving LAX and arriving at JFK. As soon as the plane took off, i immediately launched in the in-flight Trivia. It was truly a duel with the person in 18-A. Came down to the last question. Who doesn't know that the wickets on a cricket pitch are 22 yards apart! Come on!




So after my display of brilliance, I settled in, relaxed the seat belt, gained the inside elbow position on the arm rest (crucial for a comfortable flight) and began looking through the movie options with my aisle side hand (needed to maintain my elbow position).


There were some solid choices including Benjamin Button, Doubt, Body of Lies, and Slum Dog but I picked "The Wrestler." I heard it was good and I heard it was Mikey Rourke's comeback (Editor's Note: Who is Mikey Rourke?).


WELLL... i was entertained a little more than expected!

About 45 minutes in, Randy the Ram (Mikey Rourke) visits a gentleman's establishment and his favorite stripper Marisa Tomei.

Below are the thoughts that entered my mind as the scene progressed.

• I bet Delta cut this scene out. Woah... Wait... This isn't censored at all.


• This is awkward... realllly awkward. (I immediately scan who is sitting around me) No kids around me. CRAP! One just ran by and Marisa Tomei was twirling like a draddle on the pole.


• Should I Fast Forward? No... this scene is very very very very crucial to the character development.


• What next? What next? Oh... Randy the Ram is getting a private dance.


• The grandma in 31-C is giving me a disgusting look. Is that a naughty look? Barf Bag! Where is it?


• Here comes a nun... GREAT! Hide! (I proceeded to put the hood of my sweatshirt over my head but continued to watch)

So...what is a guy suppose to do in that situation? I'm not mad at Delta for having a terrific selection of movies but there should have been a warning that said "STRIPPERS IN THE MOVIE!"

Regardless, for anyone that saw the movie, Marisa Tomei looked great and for those that didn't see the movie, the movie was great and Marisa Tomei was even better.

VOTE TOP RIGHT IN THE POLL FOR MOST AWKWARD MOVIE POSSIBLE TO WACTH WHILE ON AN AIRPLANE.

Joy to the Condiment

Well... Let's be honest, as we order food, the typical person doesnt place enough emphasis on the choice of supporting condiment. The condiment can make or break a meal.

The choice is essentially no different that choice we make every time you go out in the winter (not applicable in LA): is it cold enough for a jacket? If you bring a jacket, do i check it at the bar? Am i going to hold it all night? Do i really want a side of sweet and sour sauce? Is that jar of sweet and sour sauce cluttering the table too much thus reducing the opportunity of having a pitcher of beer or water and diminishing the any chance of proper hydration.

It's a big choice and many restaurants realized the growing importance to made condiments a profit center. No longer can you go to McDonalds or Burger King and get 3 BBQ sauces, 2 Honeys, 4 Ranches, and 1 Sweet & Sour packets. They'll charge you and won't think twice about it.

So this begs the question... what is the best condiment?

• Ranch- I think this is essentially the most versatile. It can go with anything and easily go with more if people expand their comfort zone. I've done ranch with breaded chicken & spaghetti and it was quiet good.



• Honey Mustard- A good honey mustard is one with a little spice. Best Honey Mustard to Date: Todaro Bro's & Maize 'n Blue Deli. The Honey Mustard kicks in towards the end of the bite and doesn't overwhelm the fundamental ingredients.



• BBQ Sauce- This has a more narrow application but i feel like it was a pioneer in the condiment expansion era so it deserves to be listed.

However, i think there needs to be proper attention towards those that support condiments.

• Young Greg Heller- While manning his desk at Mr Deutsche's Bank, he also is known for his condiment drawer which is fully stocked at all times.



• Mike Nicoll- Will put ketchup on everything... including and not limited to cheerios, oranges, & salad.



• Mitchell Daar- Has been known to put crushed red peppers (maybe considered a spice) on everything.



• Tyler Kupper- Not only orders three additional side of thousand island, but takes it the next step and manufactures his own during dire times.

Regardless, i think its about time that the condiment lobby steps up its efforts in making the condiment category a proper part of the food pyramid.

I'm sure this will spur more discussion, feel free to post in the comments section.

Lake Show, Baby! Lake Show

Well... It's Simple. I grew up on the West Coast. I live on the East Coast and there is a stupid time change that separates me from my sports teams.

I can handle not watching the Lakers dominate Sacto on a regular basis (Editor's Note: see below for reason why Sacto sucks) during the regular season but i would not be a loyal fan if didn't watch every minute of every game in the playoffs.


PLAYOFFS (CLICK HERE)



So what is the impact of the PLAYOFFS and this time change paradox, you ask?

• I will be wearring my Mamba MVP Tupac-esque t-shirt very frequently with minimal if any washes in between.



• There will be frequent "LAKE SHOW, BABY! LAKE SHOW" chants before, during and after each and every game (regardless of time and place).


• Depending on the Lakers Performance various drinks/shots and/or acts will have to be consumed/performed... I am a firm believer in rituals/habits/superstitions/voodoo:



• Prior to each and every game, one michelob light will have to be consumed.


• If Kobe does his big balls dance at any point (see picture from the movie Major League), I will have to replicate the dance immediately


• If DJ Mbenga (Click Link on Name) plays and scores i will have to do wall-sits for 5 minutes


• I will go to bed at 1 am and wake up extremely tired the next day, thus prompting the boss to root against the Lakers

Regardless, this is a big post-season for the Lakers. They lost last year to boston and now its their time to shine with Andrew Bynum back. Personally, This is also the time where home is brought to the East coast and I can enjoy the same excitement as anyone in SoCal.

Below:

Every other year, starting senior year of high school, a select few of die-hard Laker Fans would take a voyage up to Sacto for the Lakers v Kings game, stay in a Motel 6, bring cow bells and be rowdy to no end. During these trips, beers were thrown on Glush and landed on me, a cowboy threatened to kick our ass, and horses looked like cows. Here are a couple pictures for those trips:

The Results are in...

Well... Thank you for all of the support in my 2 mile endurance race against my boss. As many of you already know, i was not triumphant (See picture- This is about 1.5 miles into it). Overall, Friday ranks as one of my saddest days in my young life. To be precise, it is the 2nd saddest day after losing the 3rd grade spelling bee in the first round on the word "business."

Is the competition over? Have I lost? I need only to reflect on the wise words from Bluto (Jon Belushi) in Animal House to rally my spirits and go back and compete.

“OVER? Nothing is over until we decide it is, was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor??? It ain't over now, because when the going gets tough....................The tough get going!” ~ Bluto

I will not sit down and take this defeat like most will... I will not endure endless office ridicule! I will not go quietly into the Night! I willl not Vanish without a Fight! The inches I need to win are all around me!

Thus, I am proposing the Five Star Sports Gauntlet Competition which will span the summer with the following events:

• Horse Basketball Shooting



• Archery



• Connect-4 Competition (Sponsored by Jason Glushon)



• Dave & Busters Triad: Mini Golf + Batting Cages + Go-Karts



• Home Run Derby (on the Westport Little League Field)



• Bocchi Ball



• Fans Choose (Please vote on what the 7th event will be)- The winner was Chubby Bunny Competition

I believe the events outlined above represent a nice blend of different mind-games and athletic tests of strength and skill.

I will provide continuous updates throughout the summer.

Note: Inspirational quotes in red are from the Movie Independence Day (Side note: What has happened to Jeff Goldbloom???) and Any Given Sunday.

Race Results

RACE RECAP TO COME SHORTLY... CURRENTLY IN AN ICE BATH

I Bet You...

UPDATES IN RED

Well... those are the three words that will peak anyone's interest.


I have come to learn that in the working world, anything can become a wager. It reminds me of the movie Rat Race starring Mr Bean.



The realization begain with a couple people that everyday would peer from their 3rd floor perch starting 5 minutes before the shuttle bus arrived and would bet the over/under on the number of people that would wait for the bus. Then came the bet about eating an entire cupcake in one bite...





In the mundane work day, the thrill of a wager comes easy. And at Five Star Sports, a day rarely goes by without some sort of challenge or wager. The the most memorable being the field goal kicking competition pitted Tyler vs me. Lets just say its hard to lose when you are perfect from 30 yards.... (Pictured Me kicking and Tommy Harwood- All Mission League Holder)


Thus, comes today's wager: My boss vs Me in a 2 Mile Run

Location: Westport, CT
Time: 7:45 am
Date: This Friday
Tale of the Tape: Boss

• Age: 45ish


• Weight: 220ish 250ish


• Height: 6'1"ish


• History: Ran the New York Marathon and Boston Marathon (Failed to definitively prove completion of races)

Me

• Age: 24
  
• Weight: 157


• Height 5'6"


• History: Ran the mile in 4th and 5th grade (Best finish, 8th out of 37 runners)

Here is my propsective training regime up until the race:

1. Run today (Complete- Nearly punted a foo foo dog on the corner of 37th and 3rd)


2. Wednesday Morning: Run/Apartment stairs regime (Pending wake up) Did not happen


3. Wednesday Night: Go to Open Bar Charity Function Wednesday Night- Complete


4. Thursday Morning: BOOM FITNESS Elyptical and Plylo-metric workout (Pending hangover... probabilty 3%)- Did not happen


5. Thursday Night: Drinks with co-worker + deep tissue Massage + carbo-load


6. Friday Morning: Game Day and time to tune into the Domination Station

There are several side bets being developed and i will report on those as they become formalized. I welcome your predictions on the race via the poll near the top!

Feel the BURN!

Well... It is about that time of the year when you start thinking about the changing weather, which signifies spring, which segways into summer which translates to beach time, which triggers the thought "I'm a fat ass... I need to lose weight."



So with the weather pretty decent in the NYC, this weekend was the Official start of the "Brian Millman Get Fit Campaign 2009." (NOTE: There will be merchandise on sale in a couple weeks. You can expect items like head bands, sweat towels and potentially barf bags to be featured items.)



Below will be a couple staples of the BM Get Fit regime:

• Aloha Means Goodbye Elevator- Living on the 8th floor of my building provides me with the natural opportunity to use the stairs. Conditions of usage: The stairs will be the default unless i am drunk, or i am carrying more than a $5 Footlong.


• BOOM!- I plan to frequent Boom Fitness at the corner of Park and 33rd. There you will find me on the elliptical in the far right corner doing about 35 minutes on the Cross Training program. Conditions of Usage: this will only happen if i have clean socks and i'm not hungover.


• Sedale Threat School of Jump Shots- I plan on going to the ghetto courts on 26th and 2nd to get a little clinic going. I will bring my Mar Vista hoops style game to the east coast. Again, Richard Page was the coach and i credit him for my denfensive tenacity but also credit him, for my poor left hand and lack of height.


• Food- I am not really going to change my eating habits too much, however i foresee less pigs in a blanket for dinner and more salads +protein shakes.
• Alcohol- I will most likely continue to hydrate after workouts with Bud Light. Occasionally, after a very good workout i will have a Jack on the rocks.

I guess with any good campaign, i should set out goals and thus here is a another bullet point list of randomness:

1. I would like to run for more than 4 blocks without stopping to stretch. By stretching it is a clever ploy to actually catch my breath.


2. I would like to be able to fit into my board shorts which i left in Los Angeles. I am not switching to a pair of board shorts with an elastic waist. I graduated from that when i was 7 years old.


3. Currently, i have a naturally place to rest my beer while laying on the couch (See picture). Ideally, that would not there.


4. Be able to dunk a basketball on a six foot rim.