Lake Show, Baby! Lake Show

Well... It's Simple. I grew up on the West Coast. I live on the East Coast and there is a stupid time change that separates me from my sports teams.

I can handle not watching the Lakers dominate Sacto on a regular basis (Editor's Note: see below for reason why Sacto sucks) during the regular season but i would not be a loyal fan if didn't watch every minute of every game in the playoffs.


PLAYOFFS (CLICK HERE)



So what is the impact of the PLAYOFFS and this time change paradox, you ask?

• I will be wearring my Mamba MVP Tupac-esque t-shirt very frequently with minimal if any washes in between.



• There will be frequent "LAKE SHOW, BABY! LAKE SHOW" chants before, during and after each and every game (regardless of time and place).


• Depending on the Lakers Performance various drinks/shots and/or acts will have to be consumed/performed... I am a firm believer in rituals/habits/superstitions/voodoo:



• Prior to each and every game, one michelob light will have to be consumed.


• If Kobe does his big balls dance at any point (see picture from the movie Major League), I will have to replicate the dance immediately


• If DJ Mbenga (Click Link on Name) plays and scores i will have to do wall-sits for 5 minutes


• I will go to bed at 1 am and wake up extremely tired the next day, thus prompting the boss to root against the Lakers

Regardless, this is a big post-season for the Lakers. They lost last year to boston and now its their time to shine with Andrew Bynum back. Personally, This is also the time where home is brought to the East coast and I can enjoy the same excitement as anyone in SoCal.

Below:

Every other year, starting senior year of high school, a select few of die-hard Laker Fans would take a voyage up to Sacto for the Lakers v Kings game, stay in a Motel 6, bring cow bells and be rowdy to no end. During these trips, beers were thrown on Glush and landed on me, a cowboy threatened to kick our ass, and horses looked like cows. Here are a couple pictures for those trips:

The Results are in...

Well... Thank you for all of the support in my 2 mile endurance race against my boss. As many of you already know, i was not triumphant (See picture- This is about 1.5 miles into it). Overall, Friday ranks as one of my saddest days in my young life. To be precise, it is the 2nd saddest day after losing the 3rd grade spelling bee in the first round on the word "business."

Is the competition over? Have I lost? I need only to reflect on the wise words from Bluto (Jon Belushi) in Animal House to rally my spirits and go back and compete.

“OVER? Nothing is over until we decide it is, was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor??? It ain't over now, because when the going gets tough....................The tough get going!” ~ Bluto

I will not sit down and take this defeat like most will... I will not endure endless office ridicule! I will not go quietly into the Night! I willl not Vanish without a Fight! The inches I need to win are all around me!

Thus, I am proposing the Five Star Sports Gauntlet Competition which will span the summer with the following events:

• Horse Basketball Shooting



• Archery



• Connect-4 Competition (Sponsored by Jason Glushon)



• Dave & Busters Triad: Mini Golf + Batting Cages + Go-Karts



• Home Run Derby (on the Westport Little League Field)



• Bocchi Ball



• Fans Choose (Please vote on what the 7th event will be)- The winner was Chubby Bunny Competition

I believe the events outlined above represent a nice blend of different mind-games and athletic tests of strength and skill.

I will provide continuous updates throughout the summer.

Note: Inspirational quotes in red are from the Movie Independence Day (Side note: What has happened to Jeff Goldbloom???) and Any Given Sunday.

Race Results

RACE RECAP TO COME SHORTLY... CURRENTLY IN AN ICE BATH

I Bet You...

UPDATES IN RED

Well... those are the three words that will peak anyone's interest.


I have come to learn that in the working world, anything can become a wager. It reminds me of the movie Rat Race starring Mr Bean.



The realization begain with a couple people that everyday would peer from their 3rd floor perch starting 5 minutes before the shuttle bus arrived and would bet the over/under on the number of people that would wait for the bus. Then came the bet about eating an entire cupcake in one bite...





In the mundane work day, the thrill of a wager comes easy. And at Five Star Sports, a day rarely goes by without some sort of challenge or wager. The the most memorable being the field goal kicking competition pitted Tyler vs me. Lets just say its hard to lose when you are perfect from 30 yards.... (Pictured Me kicking and Tommy Harwood- All Mission League Holder)


Thus, comes today's wager: My boss vs Me in a 2 Mile Run

Location: Westport, CT
Time: 7:45 am
Date: This Friday
Tale of the Tape: Boss

• Age: 45ish


• Weight: 220ish 250ish


• Height: 6'1"ish


• History: Ran the New York Marathon and Boston Marathon (Failed to definitively prove completion of races)

Me

• Age: 24
  
• Weight: 157


• Height 5'6"


• History: Ran the mile in 4th and 5th grade (Best finish, 8th out of 37 runners)

Here is my propsective training regime up until the race:

1. Run today (Complete- Nearly punted a foo foo dog on the corner of 37th and 3rd)


2. Wednesday Morning: Run/Apartment stairs regime (Pending wake up) Did not happen


3. Wednesday Night: Go to Open Bar Charity Function Wednesday Night- Complete


4. Thursday Morning: BOOM FITNESS Elyptical and Plylo-metric workout (Pending hangover... probabilty 3%)- Did not happen


5. Thursday Night: Drinks with co-worker + deep tissue Massage + carbo-load


6. Friday Morning: Game Day and time to tune into the Domination Station

There are several side bets being developed and i will report on those as they become formalized. I welcome your predictions on the race via the poll near the top!

Feel the BURN!

Well... It is about that time of the year when you start thinking about the changing weather, which signifies spring, which segways into summer which translates to beach time, which triggers the thought "I'm a fat ass... I need to lose weight."



So with the weather pretty decent in the NYC, this weekend was the Official start of the "Brian Millman Get Fit Campaign 2009." (NOTE: There will be merchandise on sale in a couple weeks. You can expect items like head bands, sweat towels and potentially barf bags to be featured items.)



Below will be a couple staples of the BM Get Fit regime:

• Aloha Means Goodbye Elevator- Living on the 8th floor of my building provides me with the natural opportunity to use the stairs. Conditions of usage: The stairs will be the default unless i am drunk, or i am carrying more than a $5 Footlong.


• BOOM!- I plan to frequent Boom Fitness at the corner of Park and 33rd. There you will find me on the elliptical in the far right corner doing about 35 minutes on the Cross Training program. Conditions of Usage: this will only happen if i have clean socks and i'm not hungover.


• Sedale Threat School of Jump Shots- I plan on going to the ghetto courts on 26th and 2nd to get a little clinic going. I will bring my Mar Vista hoops style game to the east coast. Again, Richard Page was the coach and i credit him for my denfensive tenacity but also credit him, for my poor left hand and lack of height.


• Food- I am not really going to change my eating habits too much, however i foresee less pigs in a blanket for dinner and more salads +protein shakes.
• Alcohol- I will most likely continue to hydrate after workouts with Bud Light. Occasionally, after a very good workout i will have a Jack on the rocks.

I guess with any good campaign, i should set out goals and thus here is a another bullet point list of randomness:

1. I would like to run for more than 4 blocks without stopping to stretch. By stretching it is a clever ploy to actually catch my breath.


2. I would like to be able to fit into my board shorts which i left in Los Angeles. I am not switching to a pair of board shorts with an elastic waist. I graduated from that when i was 7 years old.


3. Currently, i have a naturally place to rest my beer while laying on the couch (See picture). Ideally, that would not there.


4. Be able to dunk a basketball on a six foot rim.

New York Dogs

Well... let me say that i'm completely biased on this subject. My views are tainted. They are completely one sided.



First, the best dog in the world is Brandy. My parent's beagle. It doesnt matter that she chews through the carpet or wakes up at 5 am, or even eats an entire wheel of cheese when no one is looking. Just know Brandy is the best.



Second, i am sick an tired of the inhumane treatment that the majority of new yorkers engage in towards animals on a daily basis.



Here is a list of grievances I would file with PETA:

• Hideous fashion- I dont understand why people feel compelled to put stupid sweaters and hats on dogs to make them cute. Does it make them cute? No? Usually the dog is a whimpy little nothing dog that is hideous to begin with. Its a smoke and mirrors mission. You can't put something cute on a hideous dog and expect people to think the dog is cute.


• Fuu Fuu Dogs- 90% of dogs in New York are little nothing dogs as described above. They walk outside and shiver and whimper. You see them being carried as an accessory and not walked as a dog. They are no different than a purse. Next thing you will see are girls bedazzling their fuu fuu dogs.


• Sidewalk bathrooms- Honestly, this stems back to an incident in 9th grade when i stepped in poop en route to Bling Bling at the Whiskey on Sunset (a lot of LA references there... sorry if you are lost). There is no reason why a dog should poop on cement. Its not natural. Its not fresh. Its prone for bad things and disgusting smells. Further... there aren't many hoses to clean your shoes in New York and it behooves me to clean fecal matter in my sink or bathtub.


• Freedom to be a Dog- Dogs love to sniff and chill, sniff and chill, then go meander to a new spot and sniff and chill. In an apartment, there is only so much sniffing and new smells available. That is why dogs have such a negative rep... You always find dogs near the toilet because that provides the most unique smells. Everything else in an apartment probably smells like pinesol and frebreeze.

A couple tri-state dog shout-outs:

• Casey Schulweis- Always up to no good. The King Golden Retriever of the UES.
• "Go" Blue Mintz- You think you are a small fuu fuu dog but you weigh 70 lbs and love eating my rainbow sandals.
• Lacey Azus- Always a cutie.

The White Zone is for Loading and Unloading...

Well… This isn’t a long blog post but I wanted to thank everyone for the support thus far. I am going to post a couple times a week. Its hard to claim a productive day at work when I devote time to posting.


So here is the only thing I want to comment on…


This is specific for people that travel and have been to Detroit via the McNamara Terminal… the fountain is the most soothing thing ever. You know what I’m talking about!


I contend that if you have a hangover, you would simply need to sit down and get lost in its greatness.


It’s a miniature version of the Bellagio Fountains.

In all the hustle and bustle of a major airport, the fountain is an eye opening window of tranquility.

In the middle of the criss-cross of travelers, the families searching for their flights, the friends hustling to make their connections, the fountain transcends all barriers (language, race, collegiate affiliation) by providing a subtle touch of reassurance about the persons pending flight. The jets of water pierce up in a perfect flight plan and descend back to the water for an easy and gentle landing. (Look at the little kid in the picture... Mesmerized!)

Easy.

Simple.


Smooooooth.


So, next time you are at an airport, notice the small things. They may distract you from the angst of travel.


NOTE: People from Ohio St do not have the mental capacity to realize the fountain is a piece of art. They would either interpret it as a water fountain or toilet.